gazbeirne: This man kept kicking his leg up every few seconds. Some sort of Freemasonry signal? itchy leg?
Young and grumpy: Stephen Fry: one of the best... →
chasseur-de-vent: ‘Well, Fry? It’s a simple enough question. What is titration?’ ‘Well, sir.., it’s a process whereby…’ ‘Come on, come on. Either you know or you don’t.’ ‘Sorry sir, I am anxious to avoid pleonasm, but I think…’ ‘Anxious to avoid what?’ ‘Pleonasm, sir.’ ‘And…
You don’t realise it at first glance, but I am a different species from you. You catch my eye. You feel so much pity it turns to revulsion. What are you? This is who I am.
I just can’t
what are we?
I’m a year younger than Justin Bieber’s mother. Can’t help but think I’ve wasted my life.
I mentioned something about Maine the other day. My housemate said “Maine, Oregon?”. I said “No, Maine, Maine.” ”Maine, Oregon?” “No, it’s a state.” “I don’t think so.” “It’s definitely a state.” “No, it’s in Oregon.” *sigh*
not quite up to 11. but let’s say 10.5
maybe i’m dead
happy new year
I’m making a list. This isn’t a good thing, but I can’t help it.
the interminable wait until everyone who cares for me is dead
yeah. there’s a bottle of rum next to my bed. so what.
You might think that common sense would dictate not putting massive cast-iron pots away in precarious positions on top of breakable items. But apparently this is not the case.
namur: full-screen everything I ain’t got time for that small window life Hide your taskbar, make your icons smaller. People who don’t are screen-wasting weirdos.
namur: no one knows anything if so, how do you know?
Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work! →
Awesome advice for a would-be rapist
badkidsjokes: Your brain is a poop bomb and you are a zombie and you are naked with your butt on fire and your butt in a girls face and you are wearing diapers
Barack Obama Being Adorable with Adorable Children
alexleo: (Source of images)
namur: I wonder what crack or meth smells like, marijuana smell is boring significantly more chemical
So, sometimes I think about what would happen if I...
spacerae: like naked photos of myself, and shit. But then I thought about what would happen if they saw my tumblr likes. A) They’d probably think that whatever killed me was a suicide, even a brain aneurysm. B) WHOA DIRTY PORN. These thoughts made me just clean off my phone and some of my computer. Because you never know! And I think I’d like my Grandma to think I died a virgin… Ha. I...
When I tell you he was gay, don’t act like that explains things. It wasn’t a thing. When I tell you it wasn’t a thing, don’t “yeah, but” me. OK? You’re not helping.
Racist Moments of 2012, Pt.1 ~The Workplace~
qu33riousity: In August I worked full time at a start up in San Francisco, a gaming company in the financial District. For reasons I outline at the end of this recollection, I cannot name the company or use the real names of anyone in the office I discuss. I can say that ironically, months before working there, I took a picture of one of their (MANY) ads plastered all over the downtown BART...
namur: This has probably been talked about before but I don’t fucking care: it’s very distracting to me to think about how distracting the names of certain towns out around here must be to native Spanish-spakers because just the city names are literally words out of a Spanish dictionary, e.g. Los Angeles, Alameda, Chino, Los Gatos, Compton (j/k), Los Altos, Placentia, Yorba Linda, Soledad, La...
Got some pills to help me sleep on the plane
“Some people taking Zolpidem have done things while they are asleep that they may not remember when they wake up, such as sleep walking, sleep driving, and having sex. If this happens, discuss it with your doctor” I apologise in advance to my fellow passengers, the pilot and air traffic control
namur: Today’s most salient question: why did Mase decide to pronounce “garnish” with a j sound on Cruel Summer? Jarnish or garnij? I don’t know who Mase is or what Cruel Summer is. Or if that’s salient or not.
namur: I read somewhere that he’s in the 99th percentile of facial attractiveness. So you’re trying to look less attractive?
Hillary Clinton on Being Asked about Her Clothes
bostonreview: Interviewer: Okay. Which designers do you prefer? Hillary Clinton: What designers of clothes? Interviewer: Yes. Hillary Clinton: Would you ever ask a man that question? Interviewer: Probably not. Probably not. [Via UniteWomen.org; State.gov]
namur: Why do eyebrows suddenly disappear Every time, you are near Just like me They long to be Close to you
namur: If I were a judge presiding over a case of a bodybuilder breaking someone’s arm or of a bouncer sleeperholding someone to death I’d have to seriously think about the fact that the bouncer/bodybuilder probably didn’t mean to, they’re just cursed with above average strength. I’m sure this defense has been used before and has probably been featured in Law & Order or some classic( film as...
spacerae was asked about the weirdest sex she’d had. My best friend ended up sleeping with a guy who had been a close friend for a long time. While they were at it, he took a pillow and put it firmly over her face. Not really feeling that vibe, she moved it away. He put it back. She moved it away again. This went on for a while. Seriously. If you want to suffocate the girl you’re...
There’s a derogatory nickname in Finnish for translations that “straighten all...– Jill Timbers on translating the new JK Rowling book into Finnish under huge time pressures due to piracy fears. Love the nuance. j/k j/k rowling
Thoughts before bed.: OH MY GOD. I JUST WITNESSED... →
likethebookshop: On a bus, heading home from the city I am greeted by an incredibly nice Russian-sounding bus driver with a smile on his face. About 4 stops later (in the valley, of course) a bogan hops on with his skanky (I assume) girlfriend. (May have been sister. May have been both.) Naturally, he does not…
A cat poop cake? You shouldn't have!
pinterestyouaredrunk: Source: fullpricenever.com via Becca on Pinterest